by Sonny McPickles
Two dinosaur descendants, a male and a female chicken, last night roamed free of their enclosure, wreaking havoc upon tables, chairs, small children and the floor.
In a daring experiment, the birdkeeper, Professor John W. Haffner of the Western Alabama Poultry Science Institute, purposefully left the roof off of the enclosure. After hours of observation and studying for finals, Haffner retired for the night, at which time the chickens were roosting on the back of the easy chair.
Upon rising this morning, it was immediately apparent to Prof. Haffner that while the little dinosaurs had remained on the chair for some time, and also spent time in their enclosure, they had spent the majority of the morning roaming free in the vast wilderness of the living and dining rooms. In doing so, they determinedly claimed new territory, leaving droppings at strategic points throughout. Adding to the affront, the birds also left feathers and flakes of epidermis. These trespasses were not unexpected, however, as in his long experince with Gallus domesticus, Prof. Haffner has come to expect such behavior.
After carefully noting the placement and composition of the chickens' deposits, Haffner decisively got a holt of the diminutive beasts, briefly petted them, and placed them outside in their leaf-lined coop. Turning back inside to address the minefield of feathers and poo, he found that most of the fecal droppings were of the relatively inoffensive firm and dry variety. Most, but not all: as if to remind Prof. Haffner that no bourgeois human would ever hold dominion over them, the chickens defaced both the Partagas cigar box and the West Elm furniture catalog with the dreaded "wet stinky ones."
After a thorough cleaning reclaimed the area for humanity, Professor Haffner deemed his experiment successful, finding the ability to observe the birds in their natural free-ranging state to be invaluable. Though the dino-birds left some amount of devastation in their wake, Haffner found the difficulties to be not insurmountable, and ultimately minor inconveniences as compared to the progress made in chicken understanding and advancement.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Roosting
Roosting on the box edge. Scratch with head tucked under wing, Scout just chillin'. Note his red comb.
Escape!
Yesterday I brought the chickens in from outside, put them in the box, put the roof on, and headed out to Birmingham for an early dinner. When I got home 5 hours later, chickens were out! They were sitting on the arm of the nearest chair, and there was a large collection of poo on the floor beneath them! How did they get out?! The roof was on!
Upon inspection, it appeared that at one edge of the box the roof was only barely covering it, so they must have somehow jumped up and pushed open enough of a gap to escape.
I don't mind their roaming around a little when I'm there to keep an eye on them, but when I'm gone, no. Going forward, I'll be more careful to make sure the roof is unbreachably secure.
Upon inspection, it appeared that at one edge of the box the roof was only barely covering it, so they must have somehow jumped up and pushed open enough of a gap to escape.
I don't mind their roaming around a little when I'm there to keep an eye on them, but when I'm gone, no. Going forward, I'll be more careful to make sure the roof is unbreachably secure.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Uneventful Week
Not much news lately. Just another week of school. I did get one offer for a summer job in DC, but I'm still pursuring some other leads before I take it. Chickens have spent a fair amount of time outside in the coop most days, scratching and flapping around in the leaves. I've also been holding and petting them a lot late at night before I go to bed. Chickens love a little bedtime cuddle.
I did call the farmer who sold us Scratch & Scout - he who calls himself "the chicken man" on my answering machine. He said he would be happy to board the chicks for me while I'm gone for the summer. "I can even pen 'em up separate if you want," he said. So I guess that's what we'll do. It will be hard to be without them.
More on this later. For now, more pics on the way soon...
I did call the farmer who sold us Scratch & Scout - he who calls himself "the chicken man" on my answering machine. He said he would be happy to board the chicks for me while I'm gone for the summer. "I can even pen 'em up separate if you want," he said. So I guess that's what we'll do. It will be hard to be without them.
More on this later. For now, more pics on the way soon...
Sunday, April 10, 2005
Spreading Their Wings
So after all the spring break activities, Scratch and Scout and I been back in Tuscaloosa for a week now. They loved riding around in the car and living with Mom & Dad back home, but you could tell they were pleased to be back in the area of their birth.
One development that manifested itself immediately upon our return is that now they can get out of their box (when I take the roof off so they can roost on the edges) and roam the house not just by accident, but on purpose, and with much frequency and glee. Sometimes I let them stay out and peck around for a little while, as I know they'll go stir-crazy if they can't stretch their legs and flap around a bit, but most of the time I corral them and get them back in quickly, to maintain some discipline and teach them that they can't just run around and poop everywhere. And they seem to be learning! A few days ago they got out, and I was able to herd them back near the box, whereupon they hopped back in on their own. And just last night, I went for a short run and told them that I would leave the roof off and trust them not to roam; when I got back, as soon as I opened the door I found that they were out, but when they saw me they ran over to the box and got right in! Good chickens!
Any such behavior, of course, is always led by Scout. He's the more bold of the two, and usually, wherever he goes, Scratch follows. So now whenever I want them to do something, I try to get Scout to do it first, and Scratch falls in line. The other way around never works.
Anyway, in light of their need to run and flap, and the nice warm weather, I finally got around this week to erecting a nice little temporary coop in my side yard. Whenever it's a nice day and I'm around, I put them out there and can see them from the house, or better, sit at the outdoor table next to them and work. They love running and flapping (Scout can get some air!) and pecking and scratching and rolling around in the leaves and dirt. And hopping. There's been lots of happy hopping. They're out there right now, in fact. I would be too but since I don't have wireless internet yet I had to come inside to write this post.
So things are good in chickenland. In humanland, they are less so, since finals are approaching quickly and the job search remains ongoing. Also, as summer looms, I haven't yet decided what I will do with the chickies since I probably won't be here and it's unlikely that I can take them wherever I wind up. They might have to spend the summer back at the farm from whence they came. More on this as it develops.
Oh yes...it's pretty official now: Scout is a boy and Scratch remains a girl. Or rather, a cockerel and a pullet, respectively. That's what they're called prior to one year of age, at which point they graduate to roosterdom and hendom. I'll try to get some good photos soon of Scout's burgeoning maleness.
Lastly for now, here come some more spring break photos...
One development that manifested itself immediately upon our return is that now they can get out of their box (when I take the roof off so they can roost on the edges) and roam the house not just by accident, but on purpose, and with much frequency and glee. Sometimes I let them stay out and peck around for a little while, as I know they'll go stir-crazy if they can't stretch their legs and flap around a bit, but most of the time I corral them and get them back in quickly, to maintain some discipline and teach them that they can't just run around and poop everywhere. And they seem to be learning! A few days ago they got out, and I was able to herd them back near the box, whereupon they hopped back in on their own. And just last night, I went for a short run and told them that I would leave the roof off and trust them not to roam; when I got back, as soon as I opened the door I found that they were out, but when they saw me they ran over to the box and got right in! Good chickens!
Any such behavior, of course, is always led by Scout. He's the more bold of the two, and usually, wherever he goes, Scratch follows. So now whenever I want them to do something, I try to get Scout to do it first, and Scratch falls in line. The other way around never works.
Anyway, in light of their need to run and flap, and the nice warm weather, I finally got around this week to erecting a nice little temporary coop in my side yard. Whenever it's a nice day and I'm around, I put them out there and can see them from the house, or better, sit at the outdoor table next to them and work. They love running and flapping (Scout can get some air!) and pecking and scratching and rolling around in the leaves and dirt. And hopping. There's been lots of happy hopping. They're out there right now, in fact. I would be too but since I don't have wireless internet yet I had to come inside to write this post.
So things are good in chickenland. In humanland, they are less so, since finals are approaching quickly and the job search remains ongoing. Also, as summer looms, I haven't yet decided what I will do with the chickies since I probably won't be here and it's unlikely that I can take them wherever I wind up. They might have to spend the summer back at the farm from whence they came. More on this as it develops.
Oh yes...it's pretty official now: Scout is a boy and Scratch remains a girl. Or rather, a cockerel and a pullet, respectively. That's what they're called prior to one year of age, at which point they graduate to roosterdom and hendom. I'll try to get some good photos soon of Scout's burgeoning maleness.
Lastly for now, here come some more spring break photos...
Friday, April 08, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Spring Break Fun in the District
Last week I went to Washington, DC for a few days of job hunting. Some highlights:
- Missing my flight out of Gulfport by 5 minutes and having to sit in lovely GPT for a few more hours.
- Settling into my seat on the plane and then spilling over half of a big coffee all over myself and somewhat into my bag.
- Walking to the rental Jeep Liberty Wednesday, about to head to Capitol Hill, only to find that the vehicle had been BOOTED!
- Spending the rest of the day on the phone with the DMV and with Dollar Rent-a-car, taking the metro to the DMV, waiting an hour in the DMV stench, paying the $255 fine that was for outstanding tickets that weren't even mine, and metroing it back to Dupont Circle to find the car finally free of boot.
- Wig Night at L'Enfant.
- The Apple Store!
- Various physical discomforts resulting from carrying a 19-pound briefcase all over the Hill for two days, and a 46-pound hanging bag on my arrival & depature days.
- Getting to National, getting my rental car for free and boot money reimbursed, only to find that my flight home was cancelled! And they can't get me out until the next morning!
- Frustrated and pissed with commercial air travel, spending the night in the airport...an interesting night of wandering the empty concourse, watching the night shift, and lying on hard surfaces.
- Yet more good luck with my camera falling off the baggage cart and breaking.
- But still, two reasonably productive days of dropping resumes and talking to various Hill people (but no Lothar).
- And of course all of the time spent with Laura, Melissa, Robyn, Megan, and Keirsten & family.
- And finally, coming home to the chickens!
It was some week.
- Missing my flight out of Gulfport by 5 minutes and having to sit in lovely GPT for a few more hours.
- Settling into my seat on the plane and then spilling over half of a big coffee all over myself and somewhat into my bag.
- Walking to the rental Jeep Liberty Wednesday, about to head to Capitol Hill, only to find that the vehicle had been BOOTED!
- Spending the rest of the day on the phone with the DMV and with Dollar Rent-a-car, taking the metro to the DMV, waiting an hour in the DMV stench, paying the $255 fine that was for outstanding tickets that weren't even mine, and metroing it back to Dupont Circle to find the car finally free of boot.
- Wig Night at L'Enfant.
- The Apple Store!
- Various physical discomforts resulting from carrying a 19-pound briefcase all over the Hill for two days, and a 46-pound hanging bag on my arrival & depature days.
- Getting to National, getting my rental car for free and boot money reimbursed, only to find that my flight home was cancelled! And they can't get me out until the next morning!
- Frustrated and pissed with commercial air travel, spending the night in the airport...an interesting night of wandering the empty concourse, watching the night shift, and lying on hard surfaces.
- Yet more good luck with my camera falling off the baggage cart and breaking.
- But still, two reasonably productive days of dropping resumes and talking to various Hill people (but no Lothar).
- And of course all of the time spent with Laura, Melissa, Robyn, Megan, and Keirsten & family.
- And finally, coming home to the chickens!
It was some week.
Monday, April 04, 2005
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